Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
- Typical CMB Experience - September 21, 2026
- Live A Little - August 24, 2026
- Respect - February 7, 2025
As an introvert, a while ago I was introduced to a concept where a friend relationship can be maintained not by constant communication but by rare encounters accompanied by deep conversations.
So I set out to test this theory.
A
A: I knew A years ago in a community and we were close. However at some point I decided that this community was not for me. Meanwhile, she was very committed to the community so we drifted apart.
I re-initiate our contact by inviting her & her husband to lunch. Few months later I invited them again for my birthday, just 3 of us. That was 10 months ago, in which time A never tried to contact me even once.
Looking back, I suppose I can see from how the conversation went. They didn’t come because they wanted to talk to me, they just sparing some time because they’re nice people.
I understand well that everyone has priority on who they spend their time with, and in their case people who are around all the time takes priority over those who show up once every few months. I understand this, but naturally this means this #1 test is a failure. I make mental note not to contact her again.
M
M: M was my co-worker in my previous job. We shared personal things from relationships to side-job and what we wanted in life.
After I changed job we chat a few times and I decided this can be monthly thing or even bimonthly thing. However on 1 interaction, she was just gone, did not reply. This means either it was done on purpose to end the chat or she completely forgot that she was chatting with me, both equally bad.
I said hi again about 2 months later and we had a chat. She gave me on-the-surface update about her life and force-end the conversation with the classic ‘it’s late, bye’. I feel like she didn’t really want the conversation and hang around just to be polite, the 2 months silence also support this theory.
I think it’s pointless trying to maintain a friendship with someone who doesn’t equally try, so I make mental note not to contact her again and label the #2 a failure as well.
